A few weeks ago I wrote about God speaking to me about significantly slimming down our family stuff, our physical stuff, our material junk. Well, its been a busy week on the 'being the Vicar's wife' front but slowly but surely I have been slimming down! Honestly, hundreds of pounds (of weight) of stuff has gone and I feel so much healthier! If only losing fat was this easy and joyful! There is a long way to go, this is not going to happen overnight, but I am beginning to notice the difference already and realising the truth of 'less is more'. I'm am feeling freer about 'stuff' in a way that I didn't expect, at least not this quickly. I am also enjoying what we have more as well, especially while playing with the children. I am wondering if this is because I feel God has asked me to do this. This is more than my normal clear out, it is a spiritual exercise and it has spiritual consequences. I have stored up treasures on earth, and they have distracted me from seeking first the Kingdom of God ( Matt 6v19ff), and they are now in the process of going. It is good for me.
The thing is, as much as I love decluttering, the real point is I don't want to have to do it again for a long time. The challenge is really about changing my relationship with stuff, and my desire for it. I had thought that because I don't really like shopping in conventional shops I wasn't really materialistic. How wrong was I! My trouble is, I love a bargain. Doesn't really matter what it is, but I'm like a sniffer dog after blood! Give me a charity shop, garage sale, Home Bargains (such a fab shop!) and best of all a car boot sale and I'm on high alert for stuff we 'need'. To be fair on myself I have got better at not bring home total rubbish, and often I find gems which save us money but I am an expert at bringing home a lot of bargains, I just can't resist! "50p, a bargain, I must buy!" (My dear eldest daughter (7), who is so much more sensible about this than me has said to me on more than one occasion, "No mummy, don't buy it, we don't need it, we already have loads of those"). Trouble is because its all so cheap I can acquire loads of stuff without spending loads of money. This is what has fooled me into thinking I wasn't into 'stuff'! So, I can get a lot of stuff for a fiver, I mean bags and bags. And it all mounts up in my house. Ick, ick!
So my new mantra, which has made such a difference these last few weeks has been 'I'm happy with what I have!'. I don't have to look for more stuff, even bargains because I'm happy with what I have. I have walked passed our local charity shops countless times thinking 'I'm happy with what I have' and the desire to go in has just died, gone. Wonderful. 'Ah, instead, I shall go home and play with by little boy', and I have, and it was fun. I have unsubscribed to all the emails which would tempt me with discounts galore because I'm happy with what I have ( which to be honest I never succumbed to but for some reason would always want to read. How many minutes, nay, hours have I spent reading about discounts offers? Honestly, it just doesn't make sense, be gone, thief of time! However, I am now trying not to feel lonely without a full inbox, they felt like friends, oh the deceit!). Sale catalogues go from the door mat to the bin with one easy move. Don't you dare suck my time! And most significantly of all I have stayed in bed until gone 7 on a Saturday morning, which means I did not go to the boot sale. Hallelujah! Strongholds are being broken! I do not need the bargain, I am happy with what I have!
Believe me, we have a long way to go, we are still overrun with stuff, to the point it is hard to use. For example, I yanked open the apron drawer the other day, and pulled out over 12 wedged in aprons, 12! None of them really used because it was so tricky to get them in and out of the drawer. Trouble is they were all rather lovely or held memories or 'might be useful for a particular occasion' (which probably will never happen, 'the imaginary moment', the most significant excuse I have for keeping stuff). However, I ignored my fanciful emotions and I have now passed on six of them, and because I can open the drawer we are now using the remaining aprons, and are all cleaner as a result. Result. Less is more. This scenario can be repeated throughout my house.
The Vicar is also finding joy in this, which is joy for me too. He had a good clear out of his books the other day and gave loads of them away (He actually doesn't really have much he calls his own ( who needs stuff when you have an iPad?), but he does have lots of books). What was really cool was they were good books, not rubbish books. There was something really wonderful to give away stuff we still valued, hoping it would bless someone else. Personally I struggle to let books go, its like giving away knowledge, I wanted to put them all back on the shelf, 'just in case', but I watched and learnt, and it was good.
My desire to simplify really comes down to a desire to be able to be more focused on Jesus and His Kingdom. My desire for stuff, my acquiring, handling, tidying and sorting of it has stolen a lot of time from me. Time I could be doing other things, seeking Him, doing His will, focusing on my family. I don't really love my stuff, but it has been a huge distraction, and I don't want it any more. I asked Jesus to show me how to clear my mind to make more space for Him and this is what He has shown me. I love Jesus, I want more of Him, so the rest is easy.
Friday 13 July 2012
Thursday 5 July 2012
Food for thought!
Today I cleaned out my fridge. I threw away 6 old tomatoes, a slice of deli counter ham, half a slimy red pepper, a stinky filet of salmon (felt really bad about that one!), a couple of cracked eggs (I felt sad but not bad about that one, our chickens are laying eggs with really thin shells at the moment, and many don't reach the kitchen in one piece, I'm on to it though!), and a whole carton of out of date double cream. I then repented. I would like to say that this is the first time I have thrown food away, but to my shame I have done it many times before, many times. Many many times. I wish that I were the only one who does this awful wasteful thing, but I know I am not alone in this. Apparently in the UK we throw away 7.2 million tonnes of food and drink every year, an average of 120kg of food each. That cost us a lot of money, probably about £12 billion. (www.lovefoodhatewaste.com). The thing is I have really been trying to cut down our food waste, I'm quite conscious of it, and have become much better. I'm just not there yet at being really good at valuing food, at keeping tabs on what is lurking at the back of the fridge.
The other day I received an email from Tearfund about the famine in West Africa, I clicked on the link and saw a mother feeding her children dried leaves because she had nothing else. I wept. Can you imagine having nothing except dried leaves to feed your children? The image keeps coming back to me. I pray that none of her children will die of starvation but about 25, 000 people die of starvation every day. No doubt she loves her children as much as I love mine. If she lived next door I would invite her in and share what we have, out of our abundance. It would change our lives, it would mean less for us, but there would be enough to go around because there is plenty, you can only eat so much, after all.
We live close to the London Olympic site and will hopefully be having some family members of athletes come to stay in our home in a few weeks during the Olympics. As a church we support a number of children through Compassion in Ethiopia, and so to strengthen our link with that beautiful but impoverished country we are hoping, along with a few other church families, to host Ethiopian's. I have begun to wonder what they will make of our lifestyle, my wasteful indulgence, my Christian faith. I want to invite them in, in the name of my Lord Jesus, but I am afraid that I am not reflecting who He is, that I am not living the way He has called me to and that I am not reflecting His glory.
My heart is being reawakened to a passion that the Lord gave me at university when I first read 'Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger' by Ronald Sider (my essay on it was highly passionate and one sided and I got an awful mark, but it completely changed my life), and I am grateful, I am beginning to feel alive again, like my purpose has been revealed. It is growing stronger within me and I am trying to figure out what it looks like to obey Jesus' teaching to feed the hungry, to have concern and compassion for those on the edges of society, for justice. To live prophetically in the midst of vast consumerism which I have swam with for too long. To be a doer of the Word rather than just a hearer. The Vicar is concerned that I may never smile again under the weight of it all, but I know that the joy of the Lord is our strength, and that my heart rejoices to find its calling. I'm trying to figure it out, and it isn't easy, but it feels the right wrestling match to be having.
For now, my gratefulness to God for His rich generosity towards my family has gone through the roof. I pray that we will be good stewards of His blessings and in turn be a blessing to others.
The other day I received an email from Tearfund about the famine in West Africa, I clicked on the link and saw a mother feeding her children dried leaves because she had nothing else. I wept. Can you imagine having nothing except dried leaves to feed your children? The image keeps coming back to me. I pray that none of her children will die of starvation but about 25, 000 people die of starvation every day. No doubt she loves her children as much as I love mine. If she lived next door I would invite her in and share what we have, out of our abundance. It would change our lives, it would mean less for us, but there would be enough to go around because there is plenty, you can only eat so much, after all.
We live close to the London Olympic site and will hopefully be having some family members of athletes come to stay in our home in a few weeks during the Olympics. As a church we support a number of children through Compassion in Ethiopia, and so to strengthen our link with that beautiful but impoverished country we are hoping, along with a few other church families, to host Ethiopian's. I have begun to wonder what they will make of our lifestyle, my wasteful indulgence, my Christian faith. I want to invite them in, in the name of my Lord Jesus, but I am afraid that I am not reflecting who He is, that I am not living the way He has called me to and that I am not reflecting His glory.
My heart is being reawakened to a passion that the Lord gave me at university when I first read 'Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger' by Ronald Sider (my essay on it was highly passionate and one sided and I got an awful mark, but it completely changed my life), and I am grateful, I am beginning to feel alive again, like my purpose has been revealed. It is growing stronger within me and I am trying to figure out what it looks like to obey Jesus' teaching to feed the hungry, to have concern and compassion for those on the edges of society, for justice. To live prophetically in the midst of vast consumerism which I have swam with for too long. To be a doer of the Word rather than just a hearer. The Vicar is concerned that I may never smile again under the weight of it all, but I know that the joy of the Lord is our strength, and that my heart rejoices to find its calling. I'm trying to figure it out, and it isn't easy, but it feels the right wrestling match to be having.
For now, my gratefulness to God for His rich generosity towards my family has gone through the roof. I pray that we will be good stewards of His blessings and in turn be a blessing to others.
Monday 2 July 2012
Family Discipleship - 8.27am Part One
This morning, I kicked myself in the same place I always kick myself at 8.27am. We are trying to leave the house. The Vicar and I are rushing around in a state of panic, trying to find reading books, brush hair, persuade the girls to put their shoes on, and their coats, and "by the way, have you brushed your teeth and washed your faces, No? Go, go go, now quickly, do it, we'll be late!" "WHAT!!! You haven't put your pants on, I can't believe you haven't put your pants on, what will they think of me if you go to school without pants on, go, go, go, go find pants NOW, I said NOW!" "Where is your brother? Drenched in apple juice? Oh. How bad is it? Really bad. Ok". Quick change, 8.27am and onto second outfit of the day!
In the middle of it all I kick myself. Why didn't I prepare better the night before? If I was organised it would be sooo much better. I say this every day. I am frustrated by my own lack of discipline. We've never actually been late for school, and don't often forget things, but just, you know, the process is not very satisfactory, not always very holy. However, today I say it for real, and throughout the day I make a mental list of ways to improve our mornings. I want to train our children in the way they should go ( Proverbs 22v6). I fear that the dear Proverbs 31 'woman of noble character' wouldn't have this much stress getting her children out the door and I don't want my children to think this frantic nervous racing around when patience is stretched and tempers frayed is the way to go! (Although Proverbs 31 woman did have servant girls, which I'm sure must help! A lot.).
So, tonight I did something I don't often do. I prepared the book bags. I didn't want to, in fact I had to force myself to (confession: I fell asleep while praying and woke up feeling groggy as anything, yuck). But I had wanted to mean what I said this morning, so prepared the book bags I did. It took ages. Preparing the book bags involved...
a) I filled out three forms, 2 for school dinners and 1 for music lessons, and wrote three cheques (total £170). Put them in envelopes, wrote the wrong names on them, crossed them out and wrote the right names on ( when I say the wrong names, they were still my children's names, just swapped around. If you thought that you really needed to pray for me then, please do it anyway, all prayer gratefully received!). Unfortunately I make Executive Decisions about all of the above, no time for negotiations. School dinners everyday. Eldest Poppet can learn recorder. I feel a bit guilty about this, and just hope that she really wants to learn the recorder.
b) I filled out two school reading diaries ( having heard them both read, of course!).
c) I found one CD - very important. Tomorrow is the auditions for the talent contest and without the CD they couldn't do their 'thing', and I would be in Big Trouble. They are going to sing and dance to 'Great Big God', go our little evangelists! Last year, my eldest Poppet won the talent show with her friend, singing and dancing to 'Ace Foundation, I'll build my life on Jesus' to the whole school, how cool is that! (very proud Mum moment).
d) I make notes in my diary about various dates and 'don't forgets' to go with them.
e) I scan the kitchen for junk modelling resources in response to a letter from school and decide that at this moment in time, it is a step too far. If I have time in the morning, I'll sort through the bin and find something to send into school.
f) I almost ditch a letter about what 5yr old Poppet is doing at school this term, but then feel guilty and decide to read it instead, it will after all probably be my main source of information about what she is doing at school, because she likes to keep it a secret. Ah yes, topics for the term 'People who help us', I remember now that she asked me for a book about the police to take into school this morning (8.28am to be exact 'Darling, if you need something to take into school, you need to ask me before now, OK?).
At this moment, 5yr old Poppet appears at the doorway, its 9:45pm. She explains to me in the sweetest voice that because she slept in the car for 5 minutes yesterday, and she slept last night, she is "all puffed out from sleeping, and doesn't need to sleep anymore". "Oh, ok, come on lets find 'Topsy and Tim meet the Police". After 20 mins of searching it goes into her book bag. (Praying 'Dear Lord, please help me find the 'Topsy and Tim meet the police' book, felt slightly akin to the car parking space prayer, but sometimes these things are important and the Lord knows that, I'm so glad He is into details!).
g) Finally, I found the sun hats, just in case it is sunny. They must have them. Of course, they must have their rain coats as well, just in case it is raining (this seems more likely, it is July after all!) What on earth are they going to do if it snows!
So, finally I complete the book bag preparation. I will be grateful in the morning. There were a list of about 12 other things that I could do to ease the 'getting out of the door' panic, but I'm going to introduce them one at a time, otherwise I'll be up until two, will accidentally sleep in in the morning, and we'll all be late late late for school. And wouldn't that be stressful!
In the middle of it all I kick myself. Why didn't I prepare better the night before? If I was organised it would be sooo much better. I say this every day. I am frustrated by my own lack of discipline. We've never actually been late for school, and don't often forget things, but just, you know, the process is not very satisfactory, not always very holy. However, today I say it for real, and throughout the day I make a mental list of ways to improve our mornings. I want to train our children in the way they should go ( Proverbs 22v6). I fear that the dear Proverbs 31 'woman of noble character' wouldn't have this much stress getting her children out the door and I don't want my children to think this frantic nervous racing around when patience is stretched and tempers frayed is the way to go! (Although Proverbs 31 woman did have servant girls, which I'm sure must help! A lot.).
So, tonight I did something I don't often do. I prepared the book bags. I didn't want to, in fact I had to force myself to (confession: I fell asleep while praying and woke up feeling groggy as anything, yuck). But I had wanted to mean what I said this morning, so prepared the book bags I did. It took ages. Preparing the book bags involved...
a) I filled out three forms, 2 for school dinners and 1 for music lessons, and wrote three cheques (total £170). Put them in envelopes, wrote the wrong names on them, crossed them out and wrote the right names on ( when I say the wrong names, they were still my children's names, just swapped around. If you thought that you really needed to pray for me then, please do it anyway, all prayer gratefully received!). Unfortunately I make Executive Decisions about all of the above, no time for negotiations. School dinners everyday. Eldest Poppet can learn recorder. I feel a bit guilty about this, and just hope that she really wants to learn the recorder.
b) I filled out two school reading diaries ( having heard them both read, of course!).
c) I found one CD - very important. Tomorrow is the auditions for the talent contest and without the CD they couldn't do their 'thing', and I would be in Big Trouble. They are going to sing and dance to 'Great Big God', go our little evangelists! Last year, my eldest Poppet won the talent show with her friend, singing and dancing to 'Ace Foundation, I'll build my life on Jesus' to the whole school, how cool is that! (very proud Mum moment).
d) I make notes in my diary about various dates and 'don't forgets' to go with them.
e) I scan the kitchen for junk modelling resources in response to a letter from school and decide that at this moment in time, it is a step too far. If I have time in the morning, I'll sort through the bin and find something to send into school.
f) I almost ditch a letter about what 5yr old Poppet is doing at school this term, but then feel guilty and decide to read it instead, it will after all probably be my main source of information about what she is doing at school, because she likes to keep it a secret. Ah yes, topics for the term 'People who help us', I remember now that she asked me for a book about the police to take into school this morning (8.28am to be exact 'Darling, if you need something to take into school, you need to ask me before now, OK?).
At this moment, 5yr old Poppet appears at the doorway, its 9:45pm. She explains to me in the sweetest voice that because she slept in the car for 5 minutes yesterday, and she slept last night, she is "all puffed out from sleeping, and doesn't need to sleep anymore". "Oh, ok, come on lets find 'Topsy and Tim meet the Police". After 20 mins of searching it goes into her book bag. (Praying 'Dear Lord, please help me find the 'Topsy and Tim meet the police' book, felt slightly akin to the car parking space prayer, but sometimes these things are important and the Lord knows that, I'm so glad He is into details!).
g) Finally, I found the sun hats, just in case it is sunny. They must have them. Of course, they must have their rain coats as well, just in case it is raining (this seems more likely, it is July after all!) What on earth are they going to do if it snows!
So, finally I complete the book bag preparation. I will be grateful in the morning. There were a list of about 12 other things that I could do to ease the 'getting out of the door' panic, but I'm going to introduce them one at a time, otherwise I'll be up until two, will accidentally sleep in in the morning, and we'll all be late late late for school. And wouldn't that be stressful!
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